It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
