We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
