honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
