I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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