he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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