Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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