it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
