Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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