Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
