Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
