I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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