He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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