so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
