How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
