I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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