I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
