Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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