They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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