dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it glows. i had to have it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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