I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
