Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
