I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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