There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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