This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it glows. i had to have it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
