My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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