Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
