who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
