okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
