the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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