I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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