i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
