Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
