So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
