So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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