And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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