thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
