giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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