Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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