Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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