Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
