Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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