okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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