I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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