i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
