I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
