I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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