everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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