dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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