Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
