There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
