Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this boner is exhausting
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
